OMG it's been that long!

I haven't posted in nearly a year!! Can it really be that long?!

I guess it can.

Too much has happened to update here in five minutes, so I will save it for when I have more time. Currently on the last leg of summer holidays here, so no time for anything. I will update soon.

My Favorite Song At The Moment

Love this song!! It's called New Soul, by Yael Naïm.



~Sam~

Another Quick Post

Just a quick post and more photos than anything else and that's why I spend most of my time on Flickr these days as it's so much easier and lazier to just post photos than actually write anything.


It was Sasha's 6th birthday last Friday. We had a very small party at home for her on Saturday. Bret excelled himself once again and made Sasha a mermaid cake. Sasha decided she wanted a mermaid cake, so we had a look on the net and found one. Bret had to try and scale it down a bit to fit on the cake board as it was huge. I've still got frozen cake in the freezer.

We had made a whole load of blue jelly that was going to be put around the meramid to look like water but we completely forgot, lol. She still looked pretty good and Sasha thought it was great so that was the main thing.

Just for a giggle, had to put this in. Why Bret should stick to making birthday cakes and not sushi...

He took the photo not me, he ate it, not me, lol.

Also wanted to share this little video of Sophie, who might I add is five months old now. She is growing up so fast, and she is the cutest little thing ever.

::video coming soon::

~Sam~

15th Feb 1939 - 28th Sep 2000

Today would have been my dad's 69th birthday if he had still been alive. I can't help but feel that the day he died part of me died as well. I am a totally different person now compared to the person that I was before his death and I'm sad to say I am not a better person.


My parents death is something that I fear I will never get over or move on from. Whenever I am upset about anything it always leads back to the memory of losing them. Everythng in my life is measured against whether my parents were still alive or had passed. It is a horrible way to live. I know that I would be a better parent if they were both still here.


Yes, it's not hard to tell I am having a really bad day. Lack of sleep combined with having a hard time with the kids this week and today being dad's birthday has made me feel incredibly depressed.


I tried to put Chloe in to a bed this week in Sasha's room. We made a huge deal of Chloe giving her cot to Sophie and encouraged Chloe to sleep in her big bed. The first night it went reasonably ok, she got up a few times when she first went to bed and then was up several times during the night but went back to sleep without much fuss. The second night was a disater, she screamed the house down and would not go to sleep in her bed at all.


We were all so tired from not having much sleep the night before and from being up at 5.30 in the morning (this was the time that Chloe thought would be good to get up for the day!). So I caved and let her sleep back in the cot in her old room, moved Sophie back in the bassinette in our room. I feel like such a failure. I'm ready just to go out and buy another cot for Sophie so Chloe can stay in her cot and be done with it. I guess what made last night worse it that is was Bret's late night trading at the shop so I had to deal with all this on my own.

I can't wait until this hellish week is over!

~sam~

Ebay Strike Feb 18th - 25th

I know, I know......

I know I said I was going private and now I'm public again. I think I was having a bad week, felt pretty upset at all that was going on in the family situation etc.

Feels better this week, maybe I'm handling things better or differently. I don't know, just feels... not so bad anymore.

Too tired to write anymore at the mo, will update with more soonish.

~Sam~

Getting things off my chest...

I'm not usually one to air my dirty laundry in public but I do like to get things off my chest every once in a while.



So my big dilemma at the moment is of course Bret's totally dysfunctional family, lol. Which up until now I've never really been able to talk about. So a bit of background information first. Bret's mum and dad are divorced and have been for the past eighteen years or so. They haven't spoken since the divorce and Bret's sisters and his brother no longer speak to his dad either. We are the only ones that still have anything to do with his dad.

I love his dad don't get me wrong but because we are his only family he comes around to our house every single day off Bret has. It's driving me nuts! I like my own space and I like to know when people are coming over especially when I have a little baby in the house. If I'm breastfeeding I don't want people peeping through the windows to see if we are home , this has happened. Or if I'm trying to catch up on sleep have some one banging on the door, this has happened too. I tell you it's like that bloody show Everybody Loves Raymond!

Then when I'm with his mum and sisters they are always bagging his dad and telling me all these horrible stories of what happened in the past when they all lived together. It's really doing my head in.

I think it wouldn't be so bad if my parents were still around because I would have their support and just knowing that I still have my family would kind of even things out. But when Bret's family is all I have, as far as parent type family members are concerned it really saddens me.

I'm just fed up with it.

And then another thing, his dad has offered to buy us a gas heater for our new house, quite an expensive one. Which is really, really genorous of him but I feel it's like something that he will have over us. When we were showing my brother around out house at Christmas time Bret's dad turned up to have a look as well and made the comment about the gas heater and that he would have his chair here in front of the gas heater. Neither Bret or I said anyhting but inside I was fumming. I mentioned to Bret's mum what he had said and she said that he will be thinking that eventually he will be able to move in with us!! Over my dead fucking body!!!!!!!!!

So there you go that's the way things are. I know nobody has the perfect family or perfect life. I just wish things were different. I wish Bret would stand up to his dad but he won't. I remember how my own parents moved all the way over to Australia from England because my dad's parents used to come over everyday to visit......

~Sam~

Going Private

Been thinking about it for a while. I made the mistake of giving out this blog address to all my rellies when I first started it. Yeah, dumb I know. There are times when I really want to have a good bitch and I can't because of it.

So unless you're invited you can't read it.

Also I worry about all the creeps and sickos out there that might be looking at photos of my kids.

Nuff said.

~Sam~

Happy Birthday Mojo =^..^=

Happy 4th Birthday for yesterday buddy, my favorite pussy cat XD

~Sam~